I feel like you missed a major setting issue. The books take place in a medieval time period where arranged marriages are consummated as soon as a girl "flowers" (12-13 years old in many cases).

Direct from Wikipedia (which we all know has to be true)
The definition of rape varies both in different parts of the world and at different times in history.[17] It is defined in many jurisdictions as sexual intercourse, or other forms of sexual penetration, of one person by another person without the consent of the victim.[17]

If I recall, Daeny does say yes and therefor that is not the definition of rape, although not how you and I would view consensual either. It is a completely different cultural standard than today, and you seem to want to judge these characters with today's standards, instead of losing yourself in their world.

You disregard the banners and pageantry, much like I did the first time through GoT, because like you I could never remember the 20 different knights names in the tourney or their banners. But in that long listing paragraph is the introduction to so many of our sub-plots for the next four novels, which Martin does a great job of interweaving with the Starks and Lannisters (two of which you will love wholeheartedly before book 5 and one you will continue to loathe).

The recent history of Westeros is not slapped across your face most of the time and in many cases, you must decipher from the different perspectives what is reality and propaganda. The great mystery although is not what did happen a generation ago, but what could have happened and how close these wars, weddings, rivalries, and ultimately every characters pending doom could have been avoided because of one simple fart. After a couple thousand pages you see how the factions used to work together and how they fit together today. Those banners help identify families and this helps illuminate the complex weave Martin has created for us.

I agree that his series stalls in book 4 and 5, but if you give book 2 and 3 a chance, you will find that the plot thickens and events spin wildly out of control for everyone. The meek inherit the thrones, and the strong are cast down by magic, treachery, and pure stupidity at times. The evil and good alike are slain by the thousands, and the war of the five kings erodes everyone into a husk of their beginning selves as we met them in GoT. All while the true enemy gains strength and WINTER IS COMING!