Active Users:501 Time:29/10/2026 03:57:57 PM
Back to Messageboard Post New Thread Search Help Stats Rules
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. Clover Send a noteboard - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
I mean, Nick would like me to visit his family when he goes, but it's not of the utmost importance that I do so. I probably won't go if his brother is involved because we got into it and I don't like him. Nick understands and respects that. But at the same time, he doesn't particularly like his brother either. ;)
It just depends on the people involved. I'm sad that you would rather not go and feel like you're obligated to go anyway, but maybe your relationship works better that way. To each his own.


I don't think he cares so much about me visiting his family; it's more about spending time together - this is the first he's taken off work since we moved to WA, and it would sadden both of us to be apart for that entire week. It's just that I'd rather be together in Hawaii. :P But, I respect that we can't simply cut all ties with IL, since we both spent almost our entire lives there up to this point. And for him many of those ties are positive. We are also getting married next year with his parents potentially contributing towards the wedding.

These things are always complicated, aren't they? Sareitha made a good point when she talked about weighing how much you do/don't want to do something vs. how much your partner wants you to, and deciding based on that. That's basically the formula we follow, with some consideration given to what is expected of us by others, too.

I think that in five years, we probably won't go back very often.
This message last edited by Clover on 20/04/2011 at 03:14:00 AM
Reply to message
Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down? Helene - 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM 2303 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but... Urza - 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM 1415 Views
Fair enough Helene - 19/04/2011 10:01:51 AM 1372 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM 712 Views
inlaws are not always bad random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM 1348 Views
I spend way more time with my in-laws than with my own family. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:17:41 PM 1318 Views
I'm like this with my future in-laws too. *NM* Clover - 19/04/2011 04:47:05 PM 681 Views
I think they are right ironclad - 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM 1540 Views
I see your point Helene - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM 1520 Views
Re: I think they are right Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM 1434 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM 1310 Views
What he said about his wife's mother Helene - 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM 1459 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM 1217 Views
No offense... ironclad - 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM 1451 Views
yes but have you found such a thing? random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM 1385 Views
For now I have *NM* ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM 708 Views
how long has it been? *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM 705 Views
Don't try to corrupt me with your long term pessimism ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:34:39 PM 1307 Views
sadly I seem attracted to the crazies *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:08:14 PM 667 Views
Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM 1404 Views
Could be either snoopcester - 19/04/2011 10:30:50 AM 1443 Views
True enough... Helene - 19/04/2011 10:44:28 AM 1399 Views
My opinion is the latter. Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:55:00 PM 1419 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM 1417 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Macharius - 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM 1360 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations snoopcester - 19/04/2011 02:13:25 PM 1491 Views
I should have read this first. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:25:16 PM 1415 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM 1420 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM 683 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM* Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM 677 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM 1502 Views
that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM* LadyLorraine - 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM 655 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM 1514 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have Helene - 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM 1317 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM 1398 Views
How did things change? Helene - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM 1446 Views
Like I said I can only speak for myself random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:54:04 PM 1401 Views
There's already a 10 year old in the picture for us Helene - 19/04/2011 06:52:44 PM 1395 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM 1513 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself random thoughts - 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM 1428 Views
I know. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM 1649 Views
Sorry for some reason I thought you had just got married. random thoughts - 20/04/2011 09:52:24 PM 1843 Views
Good luck to them! *NM* rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:25:38 AM 694 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot Tihs Tnuc - 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM 1287 Views
From the information that you have presented... Jeordam - 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM 1532 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian. Helene - 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM 1332 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future) Jeordam - 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM 1385 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am. Helene - 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM 1371 Views
Could go either way. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM 1336 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa Helene - 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM 1364 Views
Giving up is one thing, growing past is another. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 10:00:55 PM 1319 Views
Oh, to be fair, he's the friend and she's the wife Helene - 20/04/2011 08:43:12 AM 1250 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce. Clover - 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM 1338 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family random thoughts - 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM 1350 Views
I think this is about priorities. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM 1518 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. Clover - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM 1326 Views
Even when younger, I was independent. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 05:29:59 AM 1273 Views
*nods* Clover - 20/04/2011 06:25:29 AM 1398 Views
rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:29:32 AM 1590 Views
Not the former for sure, and maybe not the latter. Palatine - 19/04/2011 05:55:03 PM 1389 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM 1359 Views
Can't tell. nossy - 19/04/2011 10:04:27 PM 1333 Views
I'm with the 'can't tell' crowd. Antigone - 19/04/2011 11:37:17 PM 1747 Views
hell, or she could just not care too much at all LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 11:43:21 PM 1327 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM 1352 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes" Helene - 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM 1310 Views
That would still be a deal breaker for me. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 11:49:09 PM 1323 Views
I'm leaning more towards your interpretation. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 20/04/2011 02:15:22 AM 651 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies) Vivien - 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM 1391 Views
I'm with you on this. *NM* Camilla - 20/04/2011 10:00:41 AM 734 Views
*sigh* Yunalesca - 20/04/2011 09:25:02 PM 1457 Views
Re: I mean, it's not good. *NM* Gaps - 20/04/2011 11:50:21 PM 637 Views
Back to Messageboard Post New Thread Search Help Stats Rules

Reply to Message

Block Quote Paragraph Quote
Formatting
Smiley Codes