Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families.
Clover Send a noteboard - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
I mean, Nick would like me to visit his family when he goes, but it's not of the utmost importance that I do so. I probably won't go if his brother is involved because we got into it and I don't like him. Nick understands and respects that. But at the same time, he doesn't particularly like his brother either. 
It just depends on the people involved. I'm sad that you would rather not go and feel like you're obligated to go anyway, but maybe your relationship works better that way. To each his own.
It just depends on the people involved. I'm sad that you would rather not go and feel like you're obligated to go anyway, but maybe your relationship works better that way. To each his own.
I don't think he cares so much about me visiting his family; it's more about spending time together - this is the first he's taken off work since we moved to WA, and it would sadden both of us to be apart for that entire week. It's just that I'd rather be together in Hawaii.
But, I respect that we can't simply cut all ties with IL, since we both spent almost our entire lives there up to this point. And for him many of those ties are positive. We are also getting married next year with his parents potentially contributing towards the wedding.These things are always complicated, aren't they? Sareitha made a good point when she talked about weighing how much you do/don't want to do something vs. how much your partner wants you to, and deciding based on that. That's basically the formula we follow, with some consideration given to what is expected of us by others, too.
I think that in five years, we probably won't go back very often.
This message last edited by Clover on 20/04/2011 at 03:14:00 AM
Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down?
- 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM
1800 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but...
- 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM
954 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM*
- 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM
445 Views
inlaws are not always bad
- 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM
871 Views
I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM
1083 Views
Re: I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM
916 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption.
- 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM
841 Views
What he said about his wife's mother
- 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM
1010 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels.
- 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM
763 Views
No offense...
- 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM
996 Views
yes but have you found such a thing?
- 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM
914 Views
For now I have 
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
457 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
457 Views
how long has it been? *NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM
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Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges.
- 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM
943 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM
908 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM
878 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
926 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. *NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
428 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
428 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM*
- 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM
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I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but
- 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM
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that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
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*NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
401 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM
1020 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have
- 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM
872 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married
- 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM
911 Views
How did things change?
- 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM
925 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this.
- 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM
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I did say I was only speaking for myself
- 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM
901 Views
I know.
- 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM
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Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM
833 Views
From the information that you have presented...
- 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM
1066 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian.
- 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM
853 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future)
- 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM
926 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am.
- 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM
895 Views
Could go either way.
- 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM
870 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa
- 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM
871 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce.
- 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM
855 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family
- 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM
873 Views
I think this is about priorities.
- 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM
1018 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families.
- 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
860 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them
- 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM
884 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way.
- 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM
869 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes"
- 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM
855 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies)
- 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM
911 Views