Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families.
Clover Send a noteboard - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
I mean, Nick would like me to visit his family when he goes, but it's not of the utmost importance that I do so. I probably won't go if his brother is involved because we got into it and I don't like him. Nick understands and respects that. But at the same time, he doesn't particularly like his brother either. 
It just depends on the people involved. I'm sad that you would rather not go and feel like you're obligated to go anyway, but maybe your relationship works better that way. To each his own.
It just depends on the people involved. I'm sad that you would rather not go and feel like you're obligated to go anyway, but maybe your relationship works better that way. To each his own.
I don't think he cares so much about me visiting his family; it's more about spending time together - this is the first he's taken off work since we moved to WA, and it would sadden both of us to be apart for that entire week. It's just that I'd rather be together in Hawaii.
But, I respect that we can't simply cut all ties with IL, since we both spent almost our entire lives there up to this point. And for him many of those ties are positive. We are also getting married next year with his parents potentially contributing towards the wedding.These things are always complicated, aren't they? Sareitha made a good point when she talked about weighing how much you do/don't want to do something vs. how much your partner wants you to, and deciding based on that. That's basically the formula we follow, with some consideration given to what is expected of us by others, too.
I think that in five years, we probably won't go back very often.
This message last edited by Clover on 20/04/2011 at 03:14:00 AM
Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down?
- 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM
2202 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but...
- 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM
1320 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM*
- 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM
653 Views
inlaws are not always bad
- 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM
1251 Views
I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM
1442 Views
Re: I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM
1293 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption.
- 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM
1201 Views
What he said about his wife's mother
- 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM
1363 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels.
- 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM
1121 Views
No offense...
- 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM
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yes but have you found such a thing?
- 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM
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For now I have 
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
653 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
653 Views
how long has it been? *NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM
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Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges.
- 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM
1301 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM
1304 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM
1254 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
1292 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. *NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
630 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
630 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM*
- 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM
605 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but
- 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM
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that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
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*NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
591 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM
1393 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have
- 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM
1214 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married
- 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM
1292 Views
How did things change?
- 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM
1299 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this.
- 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM
1397 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself
- 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM
1300 Views
I know.
- 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM
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Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM
1183 Views
From the information that you have presented...
- 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM
1442 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian.
- 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM
1238 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future)
- 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM
1295 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am.
- 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM
1274 Views
Could go either way.
- 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM
1236 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa
- 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM
1252 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce.
- 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM
1230 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family
- 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM
1251 Views
I think this is about priorities.
- 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM
1394 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families.
- 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
1224 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them
- 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM
1253 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way.
- 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM
1254 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes"
- 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM
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I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies)
- 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM
1285 Views