Why? Because bread is not delicious. Well, unless there's cream cheese and caviar spread on top. Or at least some liver spread. Or sardines. Or I'm eating eggs and I'm dipping bread into the yolk. Or I'm hungry and bread is the only thing thing in the refrigerator, then I spread it with butter, sprinkle salt on it, and toast it.

If there's cheese, I'll do cheese on the bread instead of the butter. If there's no cheese or butter but there is oil, I'll fry the bread- like grilled cheese but without the cheese. Or if there's a really delicious sauce in a restaurant that you consume by dipping bread into it.

Or if it's part of a really good sandwich, in which case I'll probably still get rid of half the bread so it's russian style face up sandwich. But I don't like sandwiches that much anyway, probably because I don't like bread. Yeah, I think this describes at least 95% of the situations in which I'm eating bread.

Let's see: last Friday I did not eat any bread. Saturday- no bread, but some crackers (I made scrambled eggs with cheese and if there was bread in the refrigerator I would have had some bread, but there wasn't so I made do with some crackers I found) and a couple of bites of the bun from my burger (the bun wasn't good). Sunday- small roll in a restaurant in order to consume really delicious sauce. Today- no bread. Tomorrow I won't eat bread, but I will eat pizza. Does pizza count as bread? (I don't think it does, since it's delicious)

I've had conversations on this topic (the uselessness of bread) irl. I never *want* bread. Basically, I would always choose potatoes over bread. The one exception for that is the case of the caviar in which case blinchiki are where it's at but bread is the second best carrier for caviar. Wow, this is a long post on a silly topic, but at least it is comprehensive.